There is an uncomfortable and very hard truth that few executives want to face: Sometimes the problem isn’t company culture, the team, or even the company—it’s you. Maybe you are the one creating the friction, fostering the wrong culture, or making decisions that are out of sync with the mission. You have become the toxic cancer that seems to be derailing forward motion. Or, you observe someone who fits that description.
In leadership and life, it’s easy to blame external factors, including other people, when things go awry. But real growth comes when you’re brave enough to be self-reflective and ask, “Am I the one who needs to change?”
When you Live in the Blind Spot
As leaders, it’s easy to get wrapped up in driving results and focusing on the end game. That push often results in creating a dangerous blind spot – one where we lose sight of the bigger picture – our teams, the company culture and most importantly our own mindset and behavior. If not careful, we also begin to ignore our personal inner narrative– our gut stops working in our favor.
That narrative shifts from being the instinctual guide that helps you navigate tough situations and support others, to something that allows you to double down on behaviors that are derailing you, your success and the success of your team. You become the problem and an ineffectual leader.
Have you become the toxic cancer? It’s possible, but that doesn’t mean your career is over – it comes back to self-awareness. Great leaders learn how to face change and transition head on – even if that change is within us!
Signs You are the Bottleneck
Step back and ask yourself:
- Are People Avoiding You?
If people walk on eggshells around you, don’t engage in meetings, and/or avoid 1:1 conversation with you, those are red flags. There’s a chance they fear your reaction, are convinced their suggestions/opinions will go unheard or dismissed and they know an interaction with you will leave them feeling less than optimal – they will feel defeated. A disengaged and uninspired team often reflects a disengaged and uninspired leader. - Do You Control Too Much?
Micromanagement kills morale, stifles innovation and, is all consuming for both the leader and the team. If you’re involved in every decision or dismiss your team’s input, you might be stifling creativity and growth, and you surely won’t be inspiring. - Are You Resistant to Embracing Change, Transitions and Difficult Decisions?
Great leaders crave feedback and aren’t afraid of change. If you find yourself shutting it down, getting defensive, or ignoring it altogether, it’s time to pause. Your team’s feedback is your growth map, and it shows your strength as a leader. Someone in the blind spot will see asking for feedback as a weakness – it’s quite the opposite. No one is perfect, having the courage to be vulnerable enough to ask YOUR team for feedback is a sign of a strong and confident leader. - Is How You Are Showing Up Affecting Others?
We all have stressors and left unchecked that stress trickles down to your team every time you walk in the door – they will sense it. How you present yourself matters – what messages are you sending to your team? If you’re overwhelmed or have personal issues happening in your life, it’s important to recognize and deal with them OUTSIDE the office. You want to ensure you are leading from a space of calm and confidence versus reactionary panic.
Time for an Executive Gut Check
If you’re nodding along, thinking, “Maybe it is me,” deep breaths and don’t panic—if you are open to the shift, this is where real leadership begins. The toughest part of trusting your gut is realizing when your instincts are off, and your own behavior is misaligned. Here’s how to fix it:
Be Self-Reflective and REAL.
Self-reflection isn’t a one-time thing—it’s a leadership habit. Carve out regular time to assess whether you’re leading from a place of strength or insecurity. It means owning your flaws, identifying your personal roadblocks, seeing your weaknesses and then deciding it’s time to make some changes.
Start Seeking Brutal Feedback and ACTING on it
Is it easy to be vulnerable with your team? NO, but it is necessary if you want to become the best leader you can be. This isn’t about a 360-review—it’s about asking your team, “What am I doing that’s holding us back?” The key: LISTEN to their feedback without getting defensive – take it all in and then actually do something about it.
Stop being the “Everything Person” and Start Leading
Many leaders try to control every outcome because they fear failure – aka the negative perception and judgement of others OR they feel that no one can do it better than they can. LET IT GO! Instead, empower your team to be innovative and contribute, remove the siloes and encourage collaboration, let go of the need to micromanage or do everything yourself, and start focusing on big picture: Leadership.
Align Your Actions with Your Personal Mission, Vision & Values
If you’ve lost touch with who you are and why you are here, it’s time to realign. What kind of person and leader do you want to be? What impact do you want to have on the world and on your team? It’s time to spend some time with yourself, do the deep work and then lead every day from the perspective of integrity. Regain the confidence in your competence from that point of view and you’ll see your team shift as well.
The Big Lesson: Sometimes the problem IS You. Own it and Grow
The harshest truth in life and leadership is that sometimes YOU are the problem. But the most successful leaders are the ones willing to do the hard work of self-reflection and make changes. If you don’t, you’ll watch your team—and your results—crumble.
Time to say: “Enough is Enough!”
When you have the guts to admit your own role in the dysfunction, you unlock the potential to lead with authenticity and vision. Is it easy? No, but it’s 100% possible if you want it badly enough.
Know someone on your team who may fit the above narrative? Have a gentle conversation with them, get them to open up as to what’s happening in their personal life to help them uncover the roadblocks. What has become toxic about their relationship within their career? Is it time for them to work with an outside perspective?
Had enough of the personal toxicity and ready to make that shift with the support of an outside perspective? Let’s have a conversation. At Leading Edge Consulting, we help leaders be the best they can possibly be.
Can we add the idea of – when you face change / transition head on? I just read Ken’s post and the idea of transitioning into a new life phase fits.
Can we add any tips if you know someone who fits this – how do you give feedback with kindness?