I will never be __________. I can never do __________.
Self-limiting beliefs, like those above, are incredibly powerful. They become shields that are put up around us and become catalysts for stagnation and excuses. In layman’s terms, they simply mean you are afraid. Afraid to try, afraid to fail, afraid to see what happens if you do achieve “that goal”, achieve your full potential. I remember my mother telling me throughout my early years that “can’t isn’t in your vocabulary”. So, instead, I began saying “how can I ______.”
Why do certain people seem to live in the world of “I can’t” while others live in the world of “I can”? At some point, all of us, including me, fall even if momentarily into the “I can’t” mindset. It’s inevitable, but THE KEY is recognizing the triggers to be able to pull yourself out of that mindset OR having a team around you to pull you out. So, while I talk about this challenge as it relates to the workplace – it really relates to everything in your day to day life. Something as simple as saying “I can’t get out of bed today” can have a different feeling if instead you say “what is it going to take to get me out of bed today?” It’s all about the HOW versus the “I CAN’T”.
- We are living the life we want. Both the “I Can’t” and the “I Can” teams are living the life they choose. The “I Can” individuals have decided they want to live a life of purpose, one that brings them joy, one that makes them feel fulfilled. They are confident in their decision to perhaps go against the status quo and lead an unconventional life, stand up for themselves and ask for what they want, be unafraid of failure. They don’t put off until tomorrow what they can accomplish today. The “I Can’t” individual shies away from change, is often terrified of failure, puts much stock on the opinion of others and seems to live on the hamster wheel of life.
- Knowing your “WHY”. Your WHY is what drives you, what impassions you, what will push you to power through painful or uncomfortable moments to achieve what you want. “I Can” individuals have a clear understanding of their WHY. They know what drives their behaviors when they are at their best. They know what fulfills them on a deep emotional level. When you understand your personal WHY, you’ll be able to make decisions about your career and your life. It becomes crystal clear what you are willing to do and more importantly what you are un-willing to do.
- Skill versus Passion. These two words often are used interchangeably, and they shouldn’t. Just because you have a skill set doesn’t mean it’s your path. Most of us have the capacity to do a variety of tasks, yet often we cringe at doing many of them. We often see people start companies based on a skill set they have, only to have that company fail within the first few years. The reason for failure typically comes down to skill versus passion. When the going got tough for these newly minted business owners (which it usually does), they lacked the passion to get them through the pain.
- Passion meats Talent. When it comes to career paths, the sweet spot is finding the point where what brings you passion (not your skill set) aligns with your talents.
- Creating a Tribe. “I Can” people understand the power of surrounding yourself with a supportive tribe of people who understand your WHY, support your vision, and will be your personal cabinet – filling the skill gaps that you don’t have. It goes back to looking in the mirror and knowing the true you and being confident and comfortable enough to ask for help.
What many of us perceive as impossible – climbing Mt. Everest, becoming President, owning our own business, getting that promotion, finding our soul mate or even something as simple as cleaning off our desk and getting organized isn’t impossible at all.
Know your WHY. Find your Passion. Create a Tribe. Be Confident enough to ask for help.
Remember you are living the life you want right now, only YOU have the power to change it. Take the time to look in the mirror.